Hello now.

As the Leuchars-to-Kings-Cross Express crawls it’s way down the unshaven neck of mainland Great Britain, I find myself at a loss.   I’ve checked my Facebook at least twelve times in the past twenty minutes.  I’ve just checked it again.  My “fun”-sized pack of Mini-Cheddars has managed to squander itself to mere crumbs, and the sluggish East Coast Rail wireless internet is proffering little distraction save the occasional slow-loading ‘what’s your favourite lentil?’ thread on the Fence messageboard. There is nothing else for it but to write to you all, blog-stylee.  I’ll spare you the customary apologies for my lack of correspondence over the past few months, and skip to the good stuff.

“I love you”.

Right, now that’s out of the way, let’s venture forth into the tedious meanderings of my whim.

There is so much shit to tell you.  I’ve been meaning to blog all of this WAAAY before now – but it’s been such a busy time.  Here’s why … (as with most Pictish blogs, you might want to get yourself a cuppa, as this is going to take awhile …)

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SILVER COLUMNS
If you have had the use of at least one eye/ear over the past 6 months, you might have noticed i’ve been quite frantic with various Silver Columns shenanigans.  The album, YES AND DANCE, came out via the Moshi Moshi label a few months ago – and we’ve been resolutely gigging the festival circuit ever since.  I’ve probably mentioned this in a previous blog … but the album is 10 pop songs, all of which were co-written/recorded/performed by myself and Adem.  I’m really proud of the entire thing – and think it’s some of the best work i’ve ever done.  So there.

Strangely enough, a lot of folk seem to think the album hasn’t been released yet.  Which is, er, interesting.  Because it definitely has.  I’ve seen it in the shops.  They’ve been selling it in Japan too – according to Rebecca from Slow Club’s Twitter.  Ooh.

Anyway.  We’ve been preaching our electro-campness to crowds of various proportions at Camden Crawl, Glastonbury, Beach Break, Isle Of Wight, Lounge On The Farm, T in The Park, Lovebox, Ibiza Rocks as well as a bunch of club shows … and we’ve got the Edinburgh Festival, Haarfest, V Festival, Green Man, Bestival, Loopallu and tons more coming up.  And we’ve just announced a tour with our Moshi labelmate, James Yuill, for late-October/early-November.   Basically, there’s no excuse for you not to come along and see us shake our rumps in extremely tight jeans.

It’s quite a funny band to play in.  It’s definitely a bit different to playing with an acoustic guitar.  We’ve managed to fit all our touring gear into two suitcases.  One for keyboards and cables … and the other for glittery table covers, miniature smoke machine and a million fairy lights.  Musically, i think we’ve pretty much got the knack.  Adem doesn’t drink as much as I do, which means i get left with most of the rider.  And because we use public transport to get to most of the shows, i have to drink as much of the rider as i can on-site – because i can’t carry it home with me.  Which means, depending on how late the gig is, i’m usually wasted.  So no change there, then.

We’re still getting used to making gig demands.  We got sick of carrying keyboard stands around – so we started asking promoters to provide tables for us to put our equipment on.  We didn’t know what to ask for, so we put down “YOU MUST PROVIDE US WITH A TABLE, AT LEAST 1.2 METRES HIGH”.  Which, we didn’t realise, is alarmingly high.  We turned up to Beach Break in Wales, and were greeted with this monstrosity:

The keyboards are almost at my chin!

So, aye.  Still finding our feet in that department.  I’ve got some pretty good dance moves now, though.

There’s a new single coming out next month, on 12″ – and there’s a video of some of my dance moves, imminent.  It’s called ‘Always On’, and there’s a remix on the 12″ from Caribou – which is UTTERLY STONKING.  You’ve got to listen to it. LOUD.  And you can do so, for free, by clicking here.

You should buy the album, too.  Go on.  Click here to do so.

AWAY GAME
There’s been a wee thing called Away Game that has been taking up a lot of my time, also.  I spent the past week up on the island of Eigg – scoping out the place for our new festival … which, scarily, is taking place next month.   The islanders are all extremely excited about it.  Like, ridiculously so.  They keep asking me which bands are playing.  And I tell them.  And they don’t recognise any of them.  And then i tell them some that they will recognise.  And then they get more excited.  And then i tell them that those bands aren’t actually playing … but that they sound a lot like the bands that we have booked.  And then they get confused.  But still retaining a hint of excitement.

I’m dripping small beads of excitement too.  The line-up is phenomenal, if i do say so myself.  I’ll be announcing it soon. Considering we managed to sell the event out before announcing any of the acts, i could have just booked The Pictish Trail and Hardsparrow to play 20 times … but instead i’ve spent literally ALL the budget on making this a truly unforgettable event.  And, yes, The Pictish Trail will be playing.  I’m still waiting for Hardsparrow to confirm, though.

I could blog for AGES about Eigg … so maybe i’ll save it for another blog.  It is an incredibly beautiful island, though.  And those of you lucky enough to have tickets are in for a real treat.

IF you didn’t manage to get tickets, don’t worry – we’ve got another special Fence event lined-up for you …

FENCE HALLOWE’EN PARTY
Yep, Fence Hallowe’en returns.  Our Hallowe’en parties have become the stuff of legend … with last year’s Dead Celebrities disco proving to be one of our best ever events.  Here’s a wee reminder of all those Rod Hulls and Steve Irwins  …

This year we’ve decided to throw the bash in Glasgow.  This is for two reasons:

1) We’ve put on a few events in Anstruther already this year (Home Game and Haarfest), and we realise that it’s an expensive trip for a lot of folk.  Accommodation, travel, food, drink … and that’s not including the ticket cost.  So we’ve selected Glasgow, as it’s easier to get to – and there’s a wider selection of accommodation for people travelling in.

2) We didn’t want to have to clear up the Anstruther halls again.

Still … if you’re thinking that we’re going to be scrounging on the Fence-ness, then think again!  There’s going to be a good mix of classic Fence, with some contemporary urban Fence, and some hot Latin Fence too. The event is going to be taking place across three venues.

1. Stereo
B. The (newly refurbished) Old Hairdresser, and
3. The (still currently under refurbishment) upstairs bit of The Old Hairdresser.

I’m going to put tickets on sale on August 30th, from the Fence website.  There’ll be more info on the whole event before that – running times, price, theme, hair style tips.

NEW PICTISH TRAIL MINI-ALBUM
Somewhere in amongst all of this, i’ve put together a mini-album / EP of new Pictish Trail material.  It’s called In Rooms, and it’s a collection of the 50 songs I did for Josie Long’s 100 Days project, earlier on this year.   Due to one thing and another, I let the project slip … but i recently found time to complete it, and have just had the whole lot mastered by Reuben Taylor (he of James Yorkston & The Athletes / Deaf Mutes fame).   Christian Ward, who designed the artwork for Secret Soundz, has been working on the artwork … and so i should hopefully have the whole thing ready for Away Game, all going to plan!

I’m really really chuffed with these songs.  I’ve had them playing, on “shuffle”, on my mp3 player over the course of this year – and it feels like a different listening experience each time.  My favourites change all the time, too.  The good thing about each song lasting 30 seconds is that if i get bored with one of them i only have to wait 30 seconds before it changes.  FYI: I’m currently in love with all my songs.

There’s been a lot of talk recently, on the Fence forum, about formats.  I’ve decided i’m going to release this EP on 12″ vinyl – and package a CD-R of all the tracks along with it.  The reason for this is because I want folk to be able to upload the songs onto their mp3 players or whatever, and listen to them while travelling.  In “shuffle” mode.  The “shuffle” mode bit is quite important.  To ensure optimum “shufflage”, i’m going to give every CD-R copy a different tracklisting order.  They’ll all have the same songs – just in a different order.

“Why not just do it only on CD-R fer chrisssakes?” i hear you screech.  Well, i like vinyl a lot, and i spent a good 3 hours deciding which order the songs should go in for optimum vinyl-listening.  When listening to vinyl, you want to get yourself all snuggly in a nice hammock / bean bag, crack open a ice-wet can of Sweetheart Stout / Fizzy Ribena, and gaze longingly at my face on the artwork.  I feel the tracklisting i have selected for the vinyl is of a temperature ideal for such home-listening.

MAMMOTH PICTISH TRAIL TOUR with JOSIE LONG!
If you’re going to release music you’ve got to do a tour with it, and perform said music in front of people’s faces.  If you don’t do this people will think you didn’t actually make the music, and that you are a fraud.  In fact sometimes, after a show, people will come up to you with copies of your music, and they will ask you to sign said copy of your music.  They then check the signature with your bank or a distant pen-pal, in order to confirm that it is actually you.  It’s a tough business, people – but this is how you make money these days.

I’ve just bought a new selection of felt pens with which to sign things … and so i am going to embark on a f*cking enormous tour.  This tour is with my comedy chum Josie Long.  It’s her tour, really.  And it’s a comedy tour.  But i’m doing music.  Not comedy music, really.   Just my music.

It’s going to be a bit scary doing songs infront of people expecting comedy – but i fancied the challenge, and figured it’d be a nice way to reach a different audience.  Plus, i’m a massive fan of Josie Long.   And I’ve not been to Machynlleth before.

That doesn’t mean i don’t want you there.  I need you there. Please come.  And sing-a-long.  In tune, please.  Actually, don’t bother singing-a-long.  You can mouth the words, but don’t sing.  Just mouth.

It’s going to take ages to put up all the dates on the Fence website … so, for the meantime, you can check them out on my MySpace page.  www.myspace.com/pictishtrail

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Riiiiiiight.  I think that’s about it for now.  I’ll try not to be such a stranger, if you promise not to be either.

OK?

love you.

the pictish trail xx