See this photo?

This is me.  Two weeks ago. Fresh out of surgery, and souped up to the eyeballs on morphine.

60 minutes before this photo was taken I was lying back, completely anesthetised, mouth clamped open, with my swollen angry tonsils being sliced from my throat.  Ugh.

Let’s not stay there just now.  Instead, let’s go back another two weeks, to Homegame weekend.

It’s Saturday night.  I’m feeling quite drunk.  I’m in Anstruther’s finest night club, Legends, and i’m about to go onstage for the debut of Silver Columns (more on that later).  And my throat is feeling quite big.

Now, this was not an unusual feeling for me.  My tonsils had been consistently swollen over the course of the previous 6 months.   A hellish, debilitating bout of glandular fever last August kick-started it all, forcing me to miss a Three Craws gig at the Pittenweem Arts Festival.  The tonsils decided to flare up again half-way through the Malcolm Middleton tour around Europe, towards the end of September.  They reappeared late-November / early-December, just as my 100 Days project was about to commence.  And they decided to make a cameo during the OLO Worms Toxic Waist Tour in January.  The tonsillitis then came back at the beginning of March … and didn’t go away.  The tonsils just stayed big.

So, here I am at Homegame, all dressed up for my new electro-pop disco project with Adem … and i’m a bit nervous.  Not just because it’s our first gig in front of an audience.  Not just because for some reason we’ve decided it’s a good idea to have the BBC record and film the entire set.  Not just because the room is packed with our close friends and peers.  No.  I’m nervous because my throat is feeling a bit big, and i’m starting to think i don’t have enough beer to punish my tonsils with.  And there’s a lot of high notes in this music. Hmmm.

I’m going to press the pause button here, because while i’m writing this, i’m overwhelmingly conscious of the fact that i haven’t done a blog in a good wee while.  Not a proper blog, at any rate.   There are things i’ve kept from you, and other things i’ve not kept you up to date on.  So, forgive me, whilst i do a little housekeeping.

= = = = = = = = = = =

* THE HOMEGAME *

Our seventh annual Homegame festival was a great success – 5 star reviews, radio coverage, lots of booze consumed.  AMAZING.

I’m going to condense my thank-yous this year.  Not out of a sense of ingratitude or anything.  I’m just trying out some new time management thing.  Plus, i always end up crying if i spend too long on it.  So I’m giving myself 5 minutes on this … there’s an exciting bit of news afterwards, though … so keep reading!

Okaaaay, here we go …

A massive round of applause for Kenners, first and foremost – for having the balls and strength to deliver 8 performances of his ‘Bit Of Strange’ album over the course of the weekend, as well as managing to co-ordinate the evening pub gigs, and surviving the drunken antics of one local “card”.   Ach, there’s always one.  Thank you to Kate Canaveral for all her hard work – driving folk around left, right and centre, stewarding, and doing a stonking Kid Canaveral set.  Massive props to Graham and Linda for sorting out the bar this year, and providing the best range of booze Homegame has ever had!  High fives to the Milnes and all who work for Fisher & Donaldson – you single-handedly provided my nutrition over the entire weekend. Bear hug for Boderz, for supplying all my make-up, and coffee – ha!  Cheers to Gummi Bako, with Fudgedonut, for sorting out all the merchandise once again – top job!  Thank you to Matthew and Robin, and all who work at Apex Acoustics in Dundee, for all your amazing work with sound and lighting in the main hall and Legends – best Homegame sound EVER!  Cheers also to Little Pebble for sound-engineering the Hew Scott Hall all weekend, with his pal Graeme, and doing a couple of Oatesfield sets to boot!  Thanks to Jeremy and George from Player Piano for covering sound duties in the Erskine Hall!  Thanks to S9Fifty in Glenrothes, for providing PA at the Smugglers.  Thanks to Wilma Reid for Anstruther Church, Sue Myers for The Anstruther Improvements Association, Stevie at Legends, Lindsay Brown at the East Neuk Centre, Ian and Danny at the Anstruther Town Hall, and the two Daves at the Ship and the Smugglers.  Thanks to the Casino’s for all their help in the AIA, and to all the other stewards and bar staff who volunteered over the weekend – amazing work, everyone!  Cheers to the two security guys, who – embarrassingly – i’ve forgotten the names of.  Oh dear.  They were dead good though.

Thanks to all the artists for sorting themselves out, being on time, and playing amazing music!  This year was our strongest line-up yet – my personal highlights were Jon Hopkins, Django Django and Findo Gask’s acoustic set … but everything I saw was great.  So proud to have you all up – everyone was extremely professional, no diva strops or anything!

Finally, a big thank you to all of you who bought a ticket, and supported Fence Records.  It was great to see so many familiar faces, and to meet a bunch of new folk too.  It means a lot to us – and there’s no way we could do this without you.  I started organising this Homegame back in November ’09, and a lot of hard work has gone into making it our best one ever.  I’ve had so many letters and messages from folk this past month, saying how much they enjoyed the weekend – i’m sorry for not being able to get back to you all.  But it’s really fired me up to make every Fence event as good

(Regrettably, i’m forced to make a big NO THANKS to Celebrating Fife 2010, who decided to yank away £2,000.00 funding at the last minute, despite badgering me on the phone these past 4 months, insisting that we apply, and assuring us that we would receive it.  I love Fife, and hope that in some way our Homegame celebrates our community.  I’m pissed off with this lot, though, for wasting my time and leaving me out of pocket.  Do you want your logo on our site now?  Okthanksbye.).

… that took 8 minutes to write.  Damn.

Well, here’s the news …

* THE FENCE AWAY GAME & THE FENCE HAAR FEST *

We’re going to make a proper announcement about all of this at the beginning of May, but i thought i’d give you a little headz up, because i love you.

For years and years people have been asking us whether we’re going to do a proper Fence event outside of Anstruther … and i’m delighted to inform you that our first Fence Away Game will be taking place THIS YEAR! We’ve selected the location, and we’re currently working on a line-up that will blow your beard off.  It’s going to be taking place over 3 days around mid/late-September … and will be a pretty limited affair.   It’s going to be a real adventure, this one.  Involving camping, some very late nights, and a lot of madness.  I’m so excited about this event, i’m going to explode.

We’ve also got a batch of very special Fence shows lined-up for mid-August, in Anstruther – our first Haar Fest.  Those of you who enjoyed our series of Pittenweem Arts Festival shows a few years back are in for a treat … !

I’m afraid that’s all i can divulge about both events at this point in time … check back on the site at the beginning of May for all the juicey bits.

= = = = = = = = = = =

Okay, where was I?  Ah yes.   Paused, in Legends.  A bead of sweat dripping from my nose.  Engorged tonsils.  Oh God. About to perform the first ever Silver Columns show.

Hold on.  What is/are Silver Columns?  Ahhh … I see i have more housekeeping to do …

* SILVER COLUMNS *

Right, so, Silver Columns is a project i’ve been working on for the past year and a half, with my pal Adem.  We’ve written and recorded an album together, of electronic pop songs, and it’s coming out this year through the London-based Moshi Moshi label.   I’ve had to be fairly secretive about the whole thing for the past wee while, because we didn’t really know what was happening with the album, and it’s quite different sounding to the regular Pictish/Adem fare.   For a start, it’s a darn sight more polished than anything i’ve ever released under my own name.  Adem has nice microphones and – unlike me – tends not to do any recording when the neighbour is hoovering.  Hmm.

I’m really really proud of the album – and i’m properly excited about it coming out.  The release date has been pushed back a bit – i think it’s due out May 31st?  I’ll keep you posted as to when it’s available.

So now you know.  Maybe you already knew?   If you were at Homegame you would know, I suppose.  Which reminds me …

For all my worrying, the Homegame gig was incredible.  Was soooo good to see y’all dancing, even though it was to songs you’d never heard before!  And my throat lasted!  The high notes were fine. I got away with it.  Phew.

But afterwards, i knew something had to be done about these tonsils.   Initially, my remedy was more booze – thus, my Homegame hangover lasted a week, and left me with even larger tonsils, forcing me to cancel a gig with Withered Hand in Edinburgh.  Drastic action had to be taken – so I had an emergency consultation with a ENT specialist, and was scheduled for a tonsillectomy a few days later.

The surgery was pretty quick, they kept me in hospital over night, and i was sent home the next day,  armed with a hefty supply of codeine.    For the past fortnight, i’ve been recuperating at home, going out of my mind on prescription drugs, and watching a lot of Masterchef.  I was supposed to be doing Homegame accounts … but that hasn’t quite worked out.  I’ll leave that for a few weeks, I think.

I’d like to fill you in on all the grim details on how shit my throat has felt, and how codeine makes you extremely constipated  …  but I’ve got to sign off now – because i’ve not packed my bags, and i’m travelling down to London today.  Got my first post-tonsillectomy gig tomorrow, at the Fence Sunday Social.  No idea how i’m going to sound.  My throat’s still a bit swollen, and i’ve not played the guitar in about a month.  Fark.

I’m more worried about the Silver Columns gig that’s lined up on the 17th April.  It’s our “London debut”.  Which apparently means it’s important.  There’s tickets still available … and I could do with as many Fence fans buying tickets as possible.   Mainly because you’ve all seen me when i’m ill, and so know what to expect.  I’m not going to lie, 7 years of consistently shambolic lo-fi gigs have told me that you are a forgiving audience, and I could use the damage limitation.  I can’t afford to make an arse of myself infront of Peaches Geldof, or Bill Oddie, or whatever other celebrities the promoter brings in to pad out the audience numbers.   You understand, don’t you?

Remember, i love you.  Remember, now.

the pictish trail xx